


Colours

by clexa_negovanman



Category: Clexakru - Fandom, The 100 (TV), clexa - Fandom
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-30
Updated: 2017-07-09
Packaged: 2018-10-09 07:52:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10407369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clexa_negovanman/pseuds/clexa_negovanman
Summary: What if you walked past your soulmate on the streets? Would you even know you let them walk away without even doing anything about it? I would.It's the year 2189. Due to lack of improvability in technology scientists decided to interfere with humanity. After years op DNA-hacking, they managed to alter our brains in 2096. Thanks to their alterations humans are born with black-and-white vision. We start to see colour when we look into the eyes of our soulmate but this only happens if you look at eachother at the right time.But will that moment ever come for me?//Clexa AU// inspired by @hedaskru  on instagram// https://www.instagram.com/p/BROqubpF7_S/?taken-by=hedaskru //





	1. 1.0

**Author's Note:**

  * For [https://www.instagram.com/p/BROqubpF7_S/?taken-by=hedaskru](/gifts?recipient=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.instagram.com%2Fp%2FBROqubpF7_S%2F%3Ftaken-by%3Dhedaskru).



The earth will always keep turning. The winds will always blow. The sun will always rise. Even if it doesn't for me.

Love is nothing more than an invisible, unstoppable, uncontainable and fluid concept. It's unreachable yet below us, untouchable yet engulfs us, impeccable yet full of flaws.

I may never know true love. I may never see colour. But I will never pretend or wait to see colours with someone I know is not the one. I won't be like mum.

 

_Clarke's POV_

"Are you ready honey?" mum called out from the bottom of the stairs. "They're coming!"

"Do I have to be home for this?" I moaned, looking down at her from the top of the staircase. "It's your business, plus it's Jasmine Woods. I bet she doesn't want to see me."

Jasmine Woods. She was a very respected lawyer coming over to talk 'business' with my mother and she was the parent of my childhood best friend whom I hadn't seen for years, Alexandra Woods. Lexa for short. She hated my guts. After years of friendship everything changed when we started going to highschool. Everyone saw her as the evil rich kid and her perfect grades and talents in every single class didn't help. Some envied her, some were in love with her, some wanted to be her, but everyone hated her. They all had their own reason to hate her and though she had never done anything to anyone she somehow got on everyone's nerves.

That was five years ago. I was about to turn 19, Lexa already had. I was studying medicine like mum had always wanted me to. Today Jasmine Woods was having dinner with us and I didn't dare to ask but there was a huge chance she wouldn't be alone. The last thing I wanted to do was face Lexa.

I walked down the stairs, mum was waiting for me. "They're almost here. Smile a little, this is important."

I looked down at my feet. I had flats on and a dress mum picked out for me. I hated it. She had braided my hair back and kept slapping my hand away every time I touched it. Everything had to be perfect, everything had to be her way. That's when the doorbell rang. It was as if my entire body liquefied and melted into my shoes. I was terrified of who was on our porch waiting for the door to be opened.

Before I could come back to my senses on my own mum was dragging me down the hall, to the front door. My heart was racing as she reached for the door handle, I was being stupid, I shouldn't be nervous at all, Lexa was not some kind of natural disaster. Yet to me it felt like the house was breaking down and I was trapped.

Then my mother opened the door. And of course, Lexa was standing there next to Jasmine. She was looking down when mum opened the door and from that moment on everything seemed to be in slow-motion. I couldn't help but look at her. Her soft curls were half tied up in a bun and half hanging down her back, she had gained an impressive amount of ear piercings. She had the most perfect eyebrows I had ever seen, her eyelashes were coated in mascara and her eyelids smoked out with a shade that was slightly darker than her skin. She must have switched to contacts because she wasn't wearing glasses. Her lips were plump and beautifully shaped, her jawline was sharp and her neck was long and smooth. A collar rested around her neck, her shirt wasn't all the way buttoned and her collarbones were exposed. Her skin glistened in the dim lighting hitting her shape. Her loose fitting shirt was paired with skinny jeans and a leather jacket, a few bracelets hung around her wrists and her hands were clutched around the straps of a shoulder bag. Her fingers were long and slim and her nails were painted. Several rings decorated her hands. She was wearing sneakers with her pants rolled up, showing her ankles.

When I looked back up at her she was looking at me. She was looking me in the eyes and for a moment I couldn't breathe. I felt dizzy, my heart skipped a few beats as my sight got a little blurry. I blinked a few times to try to sober up, I noticed Lexa was doing the same thing. Soon the blur started to fade away and it was replaced by... Colour.

I was looking into Lexa's eyes and they were not a shade of grey anymore, they were something so rich and beautiful and unlike anything I had ever seen. It was a colour that felt free, that felt so natural yet so special, so fresh, so breathtaking. As I looked at her eyes I saw them widen. I heard her gasp. I realised who I was and who she was and what just happened and what this meant. I was Clarke Griffin and **the** Alexandra Woods was my _soulmate_ . My old friend whom I hadn't seen in so long and who hated my guts was my **_soulmate_ **.

"Alexandra? Honey? Are you okay?" her mother asked. Lexa took a step back and looked around her with the most adorable confused expression I had ever seen and soon that was replaced with a frown as she subtly nodded.

"Uhm, mum, I... I totally forgot that I have to, uhm... I-I have to go. I'm sorry." Her voice broke a little as she apologised. "I'm very sorry mrs Griffin, I am sure the meal you prepared is lovely, but I... Excuse me." she said and took one last glance at me with tears in her eyes before walking off. She and her mum must have taken separate cars since there were two unknown vehicles on our driveway. I started tearing up as well as Lexa stepped into her car. Was this it? Was I never going to see my soulmate again? Was I just going to live a lie and pretend I didn't see any of it?

What was I going to do?


	2. 2.0

_ Lexa’s POV _

‘And it just wasn’t fair. She felt mistreated and betrayed by the world, knowing she didn’t have a choice. She cursed science for the hundredth time that day as she saw her approach. “What are you doing here Clarke?’ 

Realising I had just typed Clarke instead of the actual name of my character Jessica, I leaned back in my chair with a sigh. Why did it have to happen now? And why with  **her** ? As I rubbed my forehead I heard a knock on my door. “Come in!”

A tall brunette entered the room. “Lex, I know you’re frustrated but you haven’t eaten the breakfast I brought you, or anything else, so if you don’t come to the kitchen and eat with me I am going to have to carry you out of your room.”

Sighing deeply I refused to turn my chair around to face the young man. “I’m not hungry.” Before I knew it he grabbed the back of my chair and spun me around. “I did not give you a choice.”

“You are not the boss of me.”

“Maybe not…” he leaned in so our faces were closer to try and intimidate me I suppose, “...but I am stronger than you and I don’t mind using that advantage.”

“Bellamy, you wouldn’t even hurt a fly.” I stated, rolling my eyes. I couldn’t help but smile a little though, he was endearing. 

We had been living together since I started university. He was the captain of the basketball team and was living with a teammate called Lincoln before me whom I was friends with but the year I started university his girlfriend did as well. The girlfriend being Bellamy’s sister Octavia who was supposed to move in with his brother as I was supposed to move in with Lincoln meant Bell and I had been left behind. The solidarity of being left out brought us together and he invited me to live with him. I had never expected to get so attached to him. He had quickly become my best friend and I could honestly say that I loved him as if he was my brother.

“Well, I need to get you to eat and technically I wouldn’t be hurting you.” he replied, sounding a little fed up. 

“Fine.” I said, looking as pissed as I could. “Just for you.”

“Of course it’s for me.” he said with a soft smile. “You know Lex…” he started heading to the living room but stopped at my door, “...you deny it but you are a big softy.” and he walked away.

“Oh fuck off  _ Lamey _ .” “I can’t hear you!” I chuckled. It had been a while since I had really smiled and it of course was Bellamy who got it done.

Soon we were sitting on the couch, having mac and cheese. I knew he wanted to ask about it, I hadn’t told him anything. “So…” he started. “You found your soulmate?”

“Yes.” I shortly replied, hoping he wouldn’t ask more questions.

“Who is it?”

“Does it matter?”

“Of course it does. And why are you so upset about it? It can’t be that bad, I mean yeah it could be bad but at least you’ve…”

I cut him off. “It’s Clarke.” I heard him gasp and a few moments later he put down his plate. I had told him about Clarke. How we were best friends. How I was in love with her. How she treated me in highschool. How she broke my heart. The worst part was that she didn’t even want to admit how much of an ass she had been, that she acted like it was my fault that I got left out all the time, like it was my fault that I was always the one picked last and always the one who had to work alone whenever we had to pick partners. 

Bell moved closer to me, I felt his hand on my back. “Lex, I’m so sorry.”

I put down my plate and I felt I was tearing up. Taking a deep breath I closed my eyes for a moment. A tear escaped while I was trying so hard not to cry and soon more followed. I tried to hide it, tried to wipe the tears away, but Bellamy noticed. I hated crying in front of people but if someone had to see I would rather have it be Bell.

Without hesitation he pulled me in and wrapped his arms around me. Usually I wouldn’t like being hugged but right now it seemed to be what I needed. Bellamy had always been a very warm person, not only literally but also figuratively. He was the touchy-feely kind of friend and I was the opposite, yet he made me get used to physical contact somehow. He made me feel safe.

He was very protective when it came to people he loved. The first time he defended me I felt offended. In my family our way was that if you defended someone that meant you didn’t see them fit to defend themselves. I had never thought about anyone wanting to defend someone because they loved them, so when Bellamy got between me and a guy who accused me of making him trip on purpose I felt hurt. Later that day was when Bellamy saw me cry for the first time. I was in my room and after patiently knocking for about half an hour he walked in, demanding to talk to me. When he saw me cry he didn’t judge me like other people would have. He didn’t shame me like others would. He sat down next to me and didn’t leave until I at least smiled once. From that moment on he felt more like family than my actual family did. 

“Why her Bell?” I managed to say between sobs. “Why her? It could have been anyone. Why her?” 

“I wish I could answer that Alie.”

_ Alie. _ I thought. That’s what he called me whenever I was upset. Alie came from the Al from Alexandra. I used to hate it but I allowed him to say it.

I told him about everything that evening. How I was stood at their doorstep when it happened. How I rushed out and drove away and pulled up to a hill and cried. How I got in trouble with my mother for pulling something like that and how she refused to even listen to me. She didn’t care about how I felt, she only cared about our image and I had damaged the ‘perfect family’ play she put up. Mother didn’t see colour when she got married. Dad did, with her. He was wealthy and that was an advantage for her so she married him and later found colour in the eyes of my former teacher. She covered up her affaire, driving dad to alcoholism, my brother to drugs and our family to a fake happiness. 

I hated myself for looking so much like her. I hated her for seeing so much of herself in me. No matter what, I was not my mother. And I never would be.


	3. 3.0

_Lexa’s POV_

  
It had been a few weeks since ‘the incident’ as Bellamy liked to call it. In the last few weeks, Clarke had come to our apartment multiple times, practically begging to see me. Bellamy kept sending her away and I was very thankful for that.  
  
I heard noises down the hall and soon the voices became clear. “Clarke what the hell do you think you’re doing, you can’t just… Clarke! Hold up!” And soon after a blonde girl crashed into my room.  
I jumped up to my feet in shock as the Clarke stood in front of me. She was tearing up as she looked at me. Bellamy was soon standing behind her, “I’m sorry Lexa, I tried to stop her but she…” “It’s okay Bell. I couldn’t avoid this forever.” Bellamy sighed with a nod and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.

“So?” I said looking at Clarke, “You’re here. You’ve got me. I’m in front of you. Let’s hear it.”  
  
She looked rather stunned. She opened her mouth a few times and closed it back again. “I...uh, I actually didn’t think I would get this far, I…” she sighed deeply “I just needed to see you. Lexa, we can’t just ignore what happened and I can’t let you get away.”  
  
“So now I’m important?” “No, Lexa…” “Just, shut up, will you? I don’t want you in my life. Get out.” A tear rolled down her cheek, “Lexa you can’t just shut me out.” “Oh, really? You had no problem doing so yourself a few years ago. Now get out of my house. I don’t want you here.”  
  
Clarke frowned as she wiped her tear away. “This isn’t over,” she told me as she headed out of my room. Soon I heard the front door slam shut.  
  
And like she had stated, it wasn’t over.  
  
It wasn’t over and it never would be. Costia knew that. Raven knew that. I knew that. Clarke was the reason none of my relationships ever worked out. It had never ended for me because no matter who I loved, they couldn’t compare to her. Costia was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen and you would think that at 16 it would be easy to just love. It wasn’t. Clarke was always there, her shadow heavy upon me, filling me up with the same old feelings every single time there was even the slightest gap in my feelings for Costia. Raven was the most clever girl I had ever met and I could have sworn she was the one but as a light blue painted her skies, mine stayed grey and as much as I hated myself for it and as much as I loved her, she knew. She knew it was Clarke. She knew it had always been Clarke and she knew it would always be Clarke. And I hated how right she was.  
  
It should have been Raven. I should have opened my eyes to see her brown eyes staring back at me. I should have stood there with the same sensation in my body and I should have cried with her and I should have held her and kissed her and we should have been happy together. It should have been Raven. But it was Clarke.  
  
And perhaps that’s why I had been so afraid of seeing her that night. Because I knew what would happen if I looked into her eyes and I was terrified she wouldn’t see the same but petrified that she would because if she hadn’t it would have meant I never had to see her again.  
  
But now I was unwillingly stuck to her and not able to let it go because she hung on to me as if her life depended on it and in a twisted way I liked it.  
  
I enjoyed being valued by her again. I enjoyed her wanting me to be a part of her life again. I enjoyed being around her again. But I had to remember that she only wanted me back because she found out that I’m her soulmate. She didn’t care about me, I doubt she ever really had. At least, I wouldn’t allow myself to believe she ever had without proof.  
  
Maybe I wanted her to not care. That would make everything easier. I wouldn't have to understand how she could leave me like that because if she never cared she wouldn't need a reason. But then again, how could we have been best friends for so long if she didn't care at all? Could she really be that opportunistic? Could she really jus have used me for companionship or as an ego boost? Was that all I was to her?  
  
The questions never left my mind and it kept making me think how I should go talk to her and ask her to tell me about it but I knew that if I did I would eat up whatever lie she had prepared for me and fall for her all over again and I hated how easy that was. I hated how much impact she still had on me even after everything and I hated the fact that this whole spiel had done nothing but prove my feelings were right and that I was supposed to be unconditionally in love with her. Why wasn't she that in love with me? What was so different between us that I had fallen for her so hard that I never recovered ever again and she seemed so indifferent about me?  
  
"You need to stop thinking so much," said a slightly grumpy brunette from the other end of the couch. "You have questions Lex but some things are better left unanswered. I know you want to find out what a life with Clarke would be like but you have to remember that it's not going to make you happy. The first few weeks, months even will be all rose petals and moonlight but after that Clarke is going to do what she does and while she is off somewhere desperately trying to play the hero in something she doesn't have business getting involved with, you will be left behind wondering how the hell you ended up being an afterthought again."  
  
I shifted with unease, it almost felt like his words burnt through my skin but Bellamy was right. Soon I felt his hand on my knee. "I know it hurts Lexa. I know it sucks. I know you're smart enough to think of everything I just told you as well butt you have this feeling in your gut that's now louder than anything else and I'm sorry that I have to be the one to warn you like this but I can't allow you to walk into a relationship like that. You deserve so much better than her. I know she is supposed to be your soulmate and everything but she left you stranded for no reason, and..."  
  
"And I did the exact same thing to her on Mount Weather."  
  
"Don't you dare tell me you're comparing Mount Weather to her abandoning you. Mount Weather was a fricking' shitshow Lexa, I know, but that was just a summer camp game. She might have been on your side but you did what you had to do to get your team out and maybe you betrayed her a little and caused her to be forced to spend the night in a rainy forest but like I said, it was just a summer camp game. You can't compare betraying someone in a game to being left for dead in what was supposed to be a friendship."  
  
Bringing up Mount Weather was dumb. But then again I wasn't quite thinking clearly which I suppose explains the course of the next few days. I should have listened to Bell. I should have stayed away. If only I knew then what I know now.

**Author's Note:**

> https://www.instagram.com/p/BROqubpF7_S/?taken-by=hedaskru


End file.
